A visit with Mamaw and Papaw

i'd love to add words to this post and hope i get a chance to at some point soon.

Everything's better with Daddy

crawford getting ready for his first real pool experience.

he just needed his big strong daddy!

bailey having fun with an old yogurt container and a water gun.

good times!

thanks granna and poppy for sharing your pool with us!

I know

i've always known how blessed i've been to have billy as my husband and the father of my children but i appreciate him this year more than ever. for father's day, bailey made her cute daddy a card with a picture of them fishing together on the front and wrote "happy father's day! i love you! bailey" all by herself inside (well, i told her how to spell the words, but that's all). as his gift, bailey and billy went to academy to pick out a fishing pole. i was going to try to buy one for him but realized that i knew absolutely nothing about what to look for in fishing poles and figured he would want to pick one out for himself anyway. i also didn't tell bailey what we were getting him until the day of and thus, was able to actually surprise billy!

here is billy teaching bailey how to fish (in the front yard, of course) with the pink and purple fishing rod she admired for so long and finally got for christmas this past year.

plenty of women claim that their husband is the best but i'm pretty sure i've got them beat. i could never have imagined marrying a better man. billy has always been a supportive, caring, strong, helpful, funny husband and i had no idea how much more i could love him until after we had bailey. not only is billy a wonderful husband, he is a very involved, responsible, playful daddy who enjoys teaching and loving on his kids. he helps me out tremendously as much as he can and for that, i am so grateful. billy is teaching bailey and crawford what being a man of god is all about the only way you can, by example. with his daddy's help, crawford is going to be a phenomenal man someday and i cannot even imagine what kind of guy will be able to compete with billy in bailey's eyes. he's already been declared more handsome than prince eric and that's pretty major.

so, thank you billy for leading our family so well and keeping our focus where it belongs, on christ.

Our bouncing baby boy!

crawford really loves to bounce! bailey would kinda just hang out in this doorway bouncer and look around when she was a baby but crawford is very active!

Soccer ball

bailey and crawford playing "soccer ball". this was the first time i've really seen them interact with each other in some sort of organized play fashion. super cute, just look at how crawford is looking at bailey and how she is working hard to explain the game to him :)

he was so thrilled and surprised to have the ball rolled back and forth to him! what a joy to watch this sweet little guy

Choices

i'd love to say that the adjustment of going from one child to two was a smooth and easy one. i'd love to say that after 7 1/2 months of fine tuning this transition i've got it all worked out. i'd love to share with you my secrets to having a wonderfully glowing, positive attitude towards my little blessings even when they are sick, crying, crabby and preventing me from getting my much needed sanity saving sleep. i'd love to say that i'm soaking in every moment of this precious time with my kids because, as you have been told a zillion times, they are only this little once. i'd love to say that i deeply and truly appreciate this time all of the time.

but then i'd be lying. and i don't like lying.

can i just tell you that this stage of life is hard. not like final exam hard or even running a marathon hard, like the most physically, mentally and emotionally draining activity known to man hard. if i had the capacity to use more of my brain i'm sure i could come up with some sort of witty analogy but that just isn't happening these days. i'm lucky if i can get a coherent thought out without needing to use symbols, gestures or a dictionary. i am needed 24/7 by not one, but two little people. two little people who abide by two different eating, sleeping and entertaining schedules. who need completely different things. i take that back, they have at least one main thing in common that they need and guess what, it's me.

i have been feeling particularly stressed out for what has turned into several months now. my life feels so chaotic, my time so rushed, my emotional tank so empty. rarely do i get anything, even the most simple tasks, done in the time i think i should. i give and give and give and give some more to the people i love the most. which is awesome and wonderful and exactly what i want to do but i am simply exhausted. i think it's easy for people to understand how physically exhausting parenting little ones can be but it's how emotionally exhausted i am that's really getting to me.

anyway, i have a point, really i do.

earlier this week i had one of those deep thoughts moments. it was a regular old morning, filled with me running around trying to feed, dress and clean up after bailey and crawford while at the same time battling the never ending war against my house. you know, dishes, laundry, general pick-up and those awesome little piles of random things that don't have homes. lately, all day, everyday, when i am not interacting directly with bailey, she asks me in her sweet little almost 4 year old voice "mommy, will you play with me?". who knew that just one little innocent request said over and over and over again could make someone feel so guilty. actually, yes, i do, in all honesty, want to play with you but it's just so hard to stop the daily routine of use, clean, put away. because just a little neglecting, a little procrastinating can cause you to really lose the war against your house. and when you get behind, it usually ends up requiring at least double the precious time it would take if you would have just done the use, clean, put away process in it's entirety the first time. and when my house is disorganized and chaotic, i feel disorganized and chaotic. and who wants that? so, obviously, it's important to keep the operations of your house running smoothly, right? a disorganized mom is a cranky mom and nobody wants to be around me when i'm cranky.

back to tuesday morning. bailey had swim lessons at 11:00 and although it's just 5 miles away, we have to leave no later than 10:40 in order to make it there on time. the kids were already fed, dressed and ready for the day. i had a load of parent laundry in the dryer left over from the night before, just begging me to put it up. by 9:30 a.m. crawford was successfully down for his nap. sweet, the morning was panning out exactly as i had hoped! crawford would get his nap in before it was time for swim lessons and i would have plenty of time to shower and put the clothes up before we left.

but, then he woke up. and i spent the next 15 minutes rocking that sweet, chubby, congested baby boy back to sleep. i tried to cherish the time i had with my son, knowing that it won't be too long before he tries to squirm out of my arms or even worse, roll his adolescent eyes at me and my affection. but you know what, all i kept thinking about was what time it was and how much i needed a shower. well, it had been an embarrassing 3 days since i last washed my hair and that fact was extremely noticeable. but still, can we say priorities?

so i got him back to sleep, checked the clock and realized that if i hurried, i still had time to get my teeth brushed, get dressed, get bailey sunscreened and suited up, pack our pool bag, double check the diaper bag to make sure i had everything crawford needed and put the clean fresh laundry away. i got myself as presentable as possible and was on my way to the laundry room when i heard a familiar phrase, "mommy, now can you play with me?".

it was then that i had what some would consider a pretty simple choice to make.

do i go through with my plans to put the laundry away, which would help out in the maintaining the house department, or do i stop and play with my daughter?

hmmmm, when you write it out, it doesn't seem difficult at all to recognize which task is more important. but at the time, i had a serious debate going on in my head. a familiar debate. you see, in my head and in my heart, i know that this time with my kids while they are still so little and honestly, so needy, is fleeting. i know how i should respond, what i should think about my kids and how i should feel about these little gifts. and i do feel an intense, deep love for my kids every single second.......that they are quietly asleep. and mostly while they are awake. but during the day in the midst of all of the feeding, cleaning, answering questions, changing diapers, packing bags, unloading the dishwasher, responding to e-mails, disciplining, picking up toys, answering phones and the other million dull, monotonous activities that fill up my day, it's hard to stop and appreciate your kids for what they truly are.

when i take the time to reflect on my role as bailey and crawford's mommy, i am humbled and shocked that god would trust me with these two precious lives. every second of every day, i need to actively fight the urge to view my children as little roadblocks hindering my ability to successfully make it through the list of tasks each day brings. i need to treat them like the valuable blessings they are. i need god's help with remembering and acting on those beliefs.

i want to choose time with my children, like i did on tuesday morning, more. as i sat there, coloring and talking with my bright, funny, amazing daughter, i felt really guilty for wanting to do something so petty as fold billy's underwear and hang up my clothes instead of interacting with her. not that i enjoy that kind of thing but i certainly like the feeling of accomplishment i get when my to do list is all crossed off. making time for your children does not come as naturally as i've always assumed but it is most definitely something i desire to strive for more.

lord, help me remember what is truly important in this life. help me choose my kids over my own selfish (although, sometimes, extremely thoughtful and helpful) ambitions. i cannot do this without you.

*****i cannot take full credit for the topic of this post. we had a building blocks speaker last friday who did a beautiful job sharing how she prioritizes the hearts and lives of her three young boys over herself and her daily routines. i've been thinking about what she said a lot lately and decided to write about my "ah-ha!" moment.

(it took me 3 days to acquire enough time and brain power to complete this post)

2nd Child

oh, my sweet baby boy! i love you SO MUCH i can hardly stand it!!! but you would never really know it by the blog. i wish i had the time to sit here and write all about what an absolute joy you are and all of the things you are doing but i simply don't. i finally get the 2nd child thing. it's not that i don't love you as much or don't have time to play with you and enjoy watching you grow, i just don't have time to take a ton of pictures and write about it. we have been on the go so much lately. i'm still struggling with overcommitting us to a variety of things, really good things, but i'm trying really hard to slow it down so i don't miss any of YOU.

all that to say that about 2 weeks ago, you cut your first tooth. and then last week, out came your second one! you have been a drooly cranky little guy but who wouldn't with all of that going on in your mouth. you are also on your 3rd ear infection. however, you still remain an overall happy guy. just like your big sister, your smile lights up your entire face but unlike her, you share that gift with us often! i just love it!

crawford, you are also on your way to crawling, much to my dismay. you can scoot yourself back quite a bit and are starting to lift your whole torso off the ground and rock a little. it's just a matter of time before we really have to change things around here, especially since you are very grabby and really really really into putting things into your mouth. the poor tiny my little ponies and their lovely accessories don't stand a chance around you. if i can survive this stage of your life without you choking on some piece of lovely pink, purple or sparkly plastic item i will consider it a miracle.

i feel like this is what you will look like when you are in kindergarten. i think you are just the cutest thing! of course i do, i'm your mommy! you are going to be one handsome man!

i sure do love you my big boy! i wish i had some more one on one time with you but i wouldn't trade seeing you and bailey's relationship develop for that. you are one blessed little guy!

Firsts

one of the awesome things about when bonnie and caroline come to visit is that we get to experience some of caroline's firsts! behold, several pictures of caroline's first trip to bailey's most recent favorite place, boomerangs. crawford had a pretty fun time too!

bonnie being her sweet self and holding an active and grabby crawford
i was so proud of how crawford slept a little while in the hotsling while we were there. i was also pretty impressed with myself at how i figured out how to carrying him in the sling a new way all by myself. then i went to peppermint with bonnie and learned that i had been using it all wrong, as in upside down and everything.
bailey zooming down one of the slides faster than the speed of my camera

caroline played it safe the whole time and didn't attempt to go down any of the slides, no matter how much bonnie and i tried to encourage her.
finally, onto a different day of pictures!!! and here are the girls all cuddled up in the big bed watching the little mermaid for caroline's first time. we had a tremendous amount of rain accompanied by some strong thunderstorms which wrecked our plans of going to the spray park down the street. nothing sounds better to some sleepy mommies on a rainy day than curling up in bed and watching a disney classic :) i proceeded to try to convince the girls that i could sing just like ariel the rest of the visit. they didn't buy it......not once.

bailey also shared another one of her favorite pastimes with caroline, making beautiful necklaces. it was cute to see caroline figure out how to correctly string the beads together and create her very first necklace!
my smiley guy! crawford did a great job entertaining himself while the girls worked hard (and quietly!) on their necklaces! i have a feeling our days of carefree beading will soon come to an end. crawford is able to scoot himself backwards and turn his body all the way around. he will be crawling before we know it (and before we are ready!)
i just adore this last picture!!! bailey loved having caroline around and treating her like a little sister. that is something that i love and appreciate about my sweet girl. bailey consistently tries to go out of her way to help her friends that are younger than her. caroline definitely did look up to bailey and i hope she learned a few positive things (and not just the word "monsters" and the ever fun game of yelling "surprise!" over and over and over again) from my wonderful daughter! i sure do love that girl of mine!

girls, we miss you both! thank you for coming all the way over here to spend some time with us. we love you and pray for you often! please come back whenever you think you can :)

Bubbles!

caroline and bailey warming up in a nice bubbly bath after their outdoor cool pool time.once again, the girls played so nicely together during this visit! there were your typical occasional toy conflicts and bailey's inability to recognize the meaning of "personal space" (an indicated in the picture) but overall, they did great!! partly because they are both absolutely wonderful little girls, but equally due to their age difference. bailey is at that age where she really desires to boss others around. sometimes (ok, a lot lately) she has had this awful tooty, sour attitude with her friends during playdates. but caroline was perfectly fine letting bailey be the leader and assuming the role of the follower, so it was a match made in pre-school play heaven! i really think bailey encouraged caroline to try new things!

i talked to bailey about acting like a big sister to caroline and she ate that right up! my girl loves to help out friends younger than her :) she is such a great big sister to crawford already!

bonnie, i just had to throw in this last one. caroline's face instantly cracked us up. i know caroline, sometimes bailey is a lot to take. and so is her mommy (who thinks she can sing like ariel even though both girls enthusiastically and whole heartedly disagree with that belief)

Still worth it

well, the blow-up giraffe swimming pool with slide and sprayer probably endured it's last use this past week. it just never recovered from the joy it brought several of bailey's friends two weeks ago at a splashy fun party in lindsey's backyard.

here are several of the kids enjoying the slip 'n slide. when i asked her after the party if she had fun on the slip 'n slide, bailey informed me that there wasn't one. after a couple of minutes of back and forth, i finally figured out that she expected something that was an actual slide.

we learned of the giraffe pool's new limitations (the top wall would not stay inflated, thus not providing ample support for the spraying giraffe head) after i got bailey and caroline all pumped up about splashing it it. the girls still had a fun time sitting and playing pretty quietly with some bathtub toys in the freezing water after splashing around a little bit.
oh well, it was still worth the whole $10 i spent on it. next "pool" we get will be one of those hard ones.

many more bailey and caroline posts coming up!!